Have you ever found yourself frustrated because no matter how much you want to change an aspect of your life you just can’t? Do you find yourself complaining to your peeps about it and nothing gets better? Do you take inspired action hoping to see a difference, only to find that you self-sabotage yourself into defeat?
If you can answer yes to some or ALL of those things then this is the series for you. If you’ve missed Part 1 & Part 2 be sure to catch up so you’re ready for today, the 3rd and final part of the series.
So in the previous post I discussed that you could do two things:
1) Increase the pain of the current situation.
2) Decrease the fear of the desired situation.
We already talked about how you can increase the pain of the current situation. It can feel uncomfortable, but it’s worth it. I’m proud of you all who did the work and worked through it.
Now, for the flip side of the coin…
How do you Decrease the Fear of a Situation?
To me this side of the equation is a lot more fun. The majority of us have a fear of the Unknown which can render us paralyzed in the face of change. You know you’re in a situation that could use some improvements, but if you don’t know the outcome that’s enough to make you endure discomfort for decades or even a lifetime.
Here are some surefire ways on how to kick Fear in the butt once and for all!
The first technique I learned from Dale Carnegie’s “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” over a decade ago and it still helps me to this day.
“What is the worst that can happen?”
Now, usually on a riveting movie or TV show, the moment a character asks this all hell breaks loose. I would also agree that if you dwell on worse case scenarios and “what ifs” the Universe will happily serve those up, so don’t get stuck at this stage.
However, used correctly this exercise will help you go from a place of Fearing the Unknown, to Acceptance.
When you ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen?” visualized and write down EXACTLY what you are afraid of and what that looks like. If you think you’ll end up homeless write that down, what does that look like? What does that feel like? Keep going. So you’re homeless then what? What does that look like? How does that feel? What would you do in that situation? Keep going and going deeper in the situation, describing what it would look like, how you would feel and then what you would do to resolve it.
What you will find is:
a) You are resilient and smart and can figure a lot out on your own. You have resources at your disposal more options than you make think.
b) The situation maybe isn’t as bad as you though it is. When you give it a face, a name, and think of everything that can be thrown at you and your realize that you can respond to all of those elements you tend to feel more comfortable to conquer your fears and go for it and see what happens.
“Leap, and the net will appear” – John Burroughs
c) Once you can accept the Worse Case Scenario you created you can then begin working on ways to improve upon that situation so that you are prepared, literally, for the worst.
I always gain perspective by reviewing old journals. I can remember every situation like it was yesterday. In pretty much Every circumstance I’m worried about something, things work out just fine. When we are in the midst of the storm it seems we will never get out, but we always do don’t we? The harder and more challenging the situation the stronger we emerge on the other side too, right? Sometimes it’s enough to ask yourself, “Have I been in a tough situation before? Did I think it was the end of the world then? Didn’t I make it out though? So don’t I believe in myself and in my Higher Power that I will be Delivered out of this situation too?”. By gaining some Perspective one is able to Empower themselves into Action and not stay frozen with Fear.
Get the facts. Make informed decisions. Don’t go in blind. I am all about researching a situation. With the World Wide Web at our disposal, we are able to find out who did it before we did. Get the facts on whatever crazy whim we may have and we can even find a community of supporters who can give us advice and cheer us on as we make our bold moves. Education is an easy way to take yourself from Fear of the Big Unknown to Knowledgeable.
Speaking of a community. Getting a group together is a great way to decrease fear. Whether you are going after a goal with a group of people or you simply notify your community of what you are attempting to do, you gain immediate support. Whether your group is made up of all cheerleaders or naysayers they provide something that will help push you along. Accountability. Once you put it out there, you are now held accountable and your community will let you know too. Sometimes going public with our ideas is enough to empower us to attempt the difficult and achieve the impossible!
- What are ways to “Decrease the appearance of Fear” to help you conquer the Fear of the Unknown? Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts!
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