We all like to move through this life like we have it all under control. It’s taboo, to appear insecure, unsure and lost even for a moment. We feel as if we have to have it together because everyone else around us has it together. Even though, the truth is that they too feel just like you, and don’t show those moments they feel unsure. This behavior keeps us in a vicious cycle of fronting, masquerading and hiding, when things get unsure for us. Well, today I’m going to talk about a moment that inevitably occurs in our lives all the time, though as a adults we are hesitant to admit it. It’s a question that pops up in our heads and hearts and leaves us unnerved at it’s audacity and presence.

That question is the ever-burning:

Who am I?

It’s a question we all ask ourselves from time to time.

If we have a steady job, we identify ourselves as that title. If we have kids we use “parent” to identify who we are. However, when the status of those situations change, we experience a loss of identity. A job loss can result in us not knowing who we are. Kids going off to college leave us asking are selves “who am I?”. I know I am going through that “identity shift” right now. For three years I was a “volunteer” living as a “citizen of Ecuador” and embodying all the titles and tags that went along with that lifestyle. Simple, basic, slow paced were all identifiers for me. Now, I’m back in the States and it’s all about consumerism, complicated and fast paced…did I mention expensive!? My daily routine is WAY off and I have been finding myself saying, “Wait, what is my purpose again?”. Just that fast, one trip on a plane I am all jumbled up!

I remember talking to one of my favorite people, stylist, Robin Allen of That’s Swank, and telling her, I came home to boxes of clothes and they are in good condition, but I don’t know if the clothes that “fit” me 3 years ago, fit me today. Sure I’m still the same size, but are the clothes I used to express JCov 2009 the same as JCov 2012!? I don’t know!

It goes even further when you are on your path to Destiny Discovery and you feel like you’re on the right track but still that voice in the back of your head will be asking, “Who am I?”. This can come up when you are growing and stretching into a bigger, better version of yourself. If you comfortable and happy speaking in front of a group of fifteen, when you get an invitation to speak in front of an auditorium, that question pops up! The nerve!

What’s the Point?

If you find yourself asking the question “Who am I?”, I’ve got good news!

1) You’re not alone
2) It’s completely normal
3) It’s a great sign you are growing

You Call The Shots

First of all, you are who say you are. That can change every year, every month or every day, it’s really up to you. As the saying goes, “Everywhere you go, there you are”, and as long as you can be happy with yourself in the Present moment you are pretty much winning at life.


Change = Life

If you are going through changes that means you are evolving and that’s a good thing…no, that’s a GREAT thing. If you weren’t evolving you would be stagnant, dying and eventually dead. No one wants that! Embrace the change, embrace the question, “Who am I?” and remember that every time it comes up you are evolving into a more refined, progressive, You.


Make Like a Butterfly….

Just remember to have patience and be compassionate with yourself. I know my first reaction when I am asking myself, “Who am I?”, is to get frustrated with myself. I think, shouldn’t know this already!!? But then I remember, I am growing and evolving into the new best version of myself and that is nothing but exciting. As cliché as is it, I always envision the process of the butterfly. She goes from caterpillar, to cocoon, to butterfly. If you’ve ever seen the hard work it takes for the newly emerging butterfly to work it’s way out of a cocoon, you know that, though the process is natural, it takes a lot of effort and determination. Imagine how that former caterpillar feels, you think she’s not asking herself, “Who am I?”. You bet she is, only we can see she has new wings to fly and soar to new heights. The same goes for us, during those times of struggle and question, we are growing our new wings for flight. So treat those times with lots of patience and compassion and your emergence will be a lot more graceful.

What do you do, when you find yourself face to face with the question “Who am I?”, share your tips in the comments below. You can also join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter. Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter, for insights, updates and freebies!!


Ever Evolving,








You're In!